Why Good Sleep = Better Sex + Better Fertility
What’s the Deal with Sleep?
Sleep seems so easy, right? Just lay down in a soft bed, relax and close your eyes. Then why are so many of us fighting going to sleep?
As I wrote this last sentence, my five-year-old came downstairs to say “Daddy asked me to say he’s picking out more stories because I’m not asleep yet and can you come read if I’m still not asleep when he finishes?”
Sleep is tough because our modern lives do a lot to disrupt what should be a normal activity. But, sleep matters for fertility. It matters for IVF, male fertility, and female fertility.
What is Good Sleep?
I often hear from clients “I only need 6 hours or 5 hours of sleep.” Or, “I’ve never been a good sleeper.” That’s like saying “I only need to work out twice a week to be physically fit” or “I just wasn’t meant to get good exercise.” Huh?
Sleep does vary, but your body really needs a good 7 to 9 hours a night of uninterrupted sleep. If you wake at night, if you can’t get back to sleep, or you can’t fall asleep and you’re in bed less than 8 hours with restless sleep—you’re not getting “good sleep.”
When you get good sleep, your body should feel like it is floating in warm water, totally relaxed and conked out. Watch babies (who have super high melatonin levels) and how they look like little cherubs so blissfully in another world without a care for what’s going on around them.
When you wake up, you should not want to hit snooze over and over. You should feel refreshed! Although, let’s be honest, no one wants to jump out of bed. :)
Sleep and your Fertility
You're probably well aware that the choices you make on a daily basis can affect your ability to have a baby. These choices can be the specific foods you eat, if you drink excessively, or if you exercise too much or not at all. But have you ever considered that the amount of sleep you get has an impact on how fertile you are, too?
Does sleep affect egg quality? Does sleep affect sperm quality? Does sleep affect implantation? Yes, yes, and yes!
Not getting solid sleep impacts male and female fertility. There is data on sleep impacting the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, menopause, sperm count, and sperm motility. Even a few nights of not getting proper sleep can result in the disruption of hormone production and stress response, and long-term, not getting good sleep can really mess with your natural body rhythm, called the circadian rhythm.
What is the circadian rhythm?
When you watch nature, you can see clearly how everything operates on a cycle. The chirping of the birds in the morning and the sound of crickets in the evening. There is a natural cycle that plants, animals, and even insects follow. We humans have a natural cycle too, which is why it’s normal to sleep when it is dark and be awake when it is light.
Circadian rhythms are the different things that happen in our body on a daily basis based on our internal clock. Our brain has a clock that tells our body when to sleep and when to wake up.
This 24-hour biological cycle is heavily influenced by light and dark exposure. Light and dark regulate and affect the majority of species, especially people.
Once upon a time, if you wanted to stay up past dark, you needed to do so with candlelight. It was hard to work late into the night and candlelight didn’t emit blue light— the light that your phone, computer, and TV emit that makes you sleep even less because it decreases melatonin production (your sleep hormone).
The invention of the light bulb in the early 1800’s forever changed humans' relationship with their circadian rhythm and sleep. For those fortunate to have electricity, we now don’t need to stop when it gets dark or be limited by lack of light. However, the use of light and even worse, modern technology, has led to big problems with sleep.
How does Lack of Sleep Disrupt your Body?
Almost every organ in our body has a clock, too. Your endocrine system regulates all biological processes in the body. It consists of several glands that secrete hormones, including your ovaries, testes, pituitary gland, etc.
The hypothalamus, which is a small mass of nervous tissue within the brain, helps to regulate the release of certain hormones, and it is also attached to the pituitary gland. The hypothalamus helps to keep your body balanced and is a vital part of your circadian rhythm.
An important function of the circadian rhythm cycle is hormone secretion. Testosterone, the hormone that causes sperm to mature, and estrogen and luteinizing hormone (LH) which triggers ovulation, are all linked to your sleep-wake cycle which is a function of the biological cycle. Changes to hormones due to lack of sleep impacts fertility.
Not Enough Sleep Impacts your Sex Drive
One of the harder parts of infertility and TTC is that it can kill the mood in the bedroom. That’s one reason why taking care of both of you and your health is important, and not just to improve fertility outcomes, but also to make daily living feel better.
Sleep supports a healthy libido with a balanced circadian rhythm leading to healthy hormone production. Having sufficient hormones for both men and women makes sure your love life stays on track too.
Not getting enough sleep or not getting restful sleep through the night can reduce testosterone levels in men and women (yes, women have testosterone, but just less of it) and testosterone helps with your sex drive. Not sleeping will dampen the mood for both men and women.
Does Sleep Deprivation affect Women’s Fertility?
Sleep deprivation can interfere with the hormones that cause ovulation and govern the menstrual cycle in a woman and can cause irregular periods and interrupt your menstrual cycle, making pregnancy more challenging.
In a 2016 study, researchers assessed the impact of shift work on the menstrual cycle. They created questionnaires on menstrual characteristics and shift schedules and sent them to female nurses.
In part I, researchers conducted a cross-sectional study that included 139 nurses who had regular 8:00-5:30 shifts and 334 nurses who worked late-night shifts. The menstrual patterns were compared and age-adjusted relative risks of shift work were examined.
Part II was a case-control study in which cases were nurses who had regular cycles with mean cycle length (MCL) of 25-31 days and controls were 67 nurses with matching shift patterns and age, but no MCL changes.
Researchers found that those working nights more than seven times per month developed irregular menstrual cycles that did not recover after a two-year follow-up phase.
Does Lack of Sleep Impact Male Fertility?
Another study found that men with poor sleep patterns tend to also have significantly lower levels of testosterone, leading to reduced libido and poor fertility outcomes. This is due to the fact that testosterone levels rise naturally during sleep, particularly during the REM stage (which is the deep sleep that you need). Sleep deprivation can reduce the amount of REM sleep you get, causing lower testosterone levels.
Low Testosterone and Fertility
Low T definitely knocks your libido and can negatively impact sperm production in some men. Sleep is a simple answer that can help and so can nutrition, targeted supplements, and the other things we do in our fertility program to boost testosterone.
Note of caution: taking testosterone straight can actually reduce your sperm count. DO NOT do this when TTC or if you want or may want children in the future.
Too MUCH Sleep can affect Fertility
What? Yes, you heard it. The people sleeping the day away don’t do amazingly better at getting pregnant, actually.
A study conducted by Lauren Wise, a professor of epidemiology at Boston University School of Public Health, indicates that both short and long sleep duration—less than 6 hours or 9 or more per night—were associated with a reduced probability of pregnancy among the 790 couples studies. The couples answered questions about sleep patterns and whether they had trouble sleeping. The men who indicated that they had trouble sleeping more than half the time were also less likely to impregnate their partner than those who didn't.
This study strongly suggests that for males, aiming for 7 to 9 hours of sleep can assist them to improve their fertility and contribute to a pregnancy.
Remember my goldilocks rule—not too much, not too little. This applies to food, exercise, and sleep with regard to fertility. Too much of any one thing is not better. Being on a regular, consistent schedule, with 7 to 9 hours of sleep and not waking at night, is the key.
Does lack of sleep affect IVF?
One thing I hear from clients is “Well, I will just do IVF” as a response to why you may not need to make the changes to your life for better health. In my practice, I support couples with natural conception, IUIs and IVF. We all have a different path to pregnancy.
However, don’t be fooled. IVF does not mean you don’t need to take care of your health. IVF outcomes are impacted by all the areas I cover in my couples coaching program. Sleep is one important area where improvement shows increased success and is problematic for many couples that I work with.
In a study, researchers tried to track sleep length and disturbances in women undergoing IVF and see how habitual sleep duration affected the number of oocytes retrieved, which is an essential IVF outcome.
The women were divided into three groups: those who slept less than 6 hours per night, those who slept between 7 and 8 hours per night, and those who slept 9 or more hours per night.
The highest IVF success rate was seen in those who slept 7-8 hours per night. The researchers theorized that those who slept longer or shorter had diminished success because by sleeping outside of normal parameters, the women were disrupting the body’s circadian rhythm and potentially impacting hormone production.
How Much Sleep do you Need for Fertility?
You and your partner need 7 to 9 hours of undisturbed sleep a night. If it takes you an hour to fall asleep, that does not count as one of your hours. This should be consistent most days and you need to follow it like a school schedule when trying to get pregnant.
How to get better sleep?
I use some very specific protocols for sleeping with my clients based on the issue (trouble falling asleep, nighttime waking, waking to go to the bathroom, or the 4 a.m. wakers). Here are some basic sleep tips that everyone can follow:
10 Sleep Tips for Better Sleep
Go to sleep generally at the same time every night (celebrations and nights out happen, but try to turn in on the early side).
Stop eating and drinking 2 hours before going to bed. Dinner should be a light meal.
Exercise regularly earlier in the day. Morning or afternoon/early evening. Avoid high-intensity exercise less than 3 hours before turning into bed (yoga is ok).
Get out in sunlight or outdoors daily for 30 minutes, especially early in the day
Make your bedroom relaxing for sleep and sex. No TV, phones or computers and working in bed. Invest in a comfy (non-toxic) mattress and good pillows.
Try reading actual books or magazines or listening to music before bed. Avoid blue light (TV, mobiles or computers) 1 hour before going to bed
Reduce or eliminate caffeine and alcohol. If you are drinking caffeine, do so first thing in the morning. Alcohol is best with a meal, having 1-2 drinks only occasionally, if at all.
Make your bedroom very dark (black-out curtains or an eye mask can get you there).
Leave worries behind. I recommend a “last-minute thought journal” where you can quickly write something if it comes up when trying to get to sleep and get it out of your head and onto paper.
Protect your sleep schedule. Don’t offer to do extra early meetings or things late at night. Build a buffer.
Still not sleeping well? We are here to help. Join our fertility program for specific guidance tailored for you.