Make Your Biggest Investment in Yourself: Create a Vision of Happiness
We must believe that it is the darkest before the dawn of a beautiful new world. We will see it when we believe it.
—Saul Alinsky
Now that the holidays have passed by, we are in the long stretch of winter. January and February can be tough months—gray, bleak, and cold, with no presents or glittering Christmas lights. To top off a normally long, cold winter we have a pandemic. We can’t tuck away into a warm restaurant with a delightful dinner and candlelight, or mingle at a crowded bar, or listen to live music, or pop into a museum. We’re stuck in loneliness, isolation, and cold.
For those who are single, the isolation may seem never-ending. For those with families, you may wish for some time alone. All our daily habits, patterns, and coping strategies have to be reworked or put on hold. Our daily escapes, whether it was sitting in a coffee shop, a run with fresh air in the neighborhood, dancing, or hanging out with friends are curtailed.
Where does that leave us? The only option is forward. I have found so often in life that I don’t have time to plan. It seems like I am constantly operating on “ready mode” as if the first act is the only act. I actually long for college days when I could plan how I was going to spend my day or week—what activities and things I would do in between classes and after. Does anyone else miss those days?
Well, think of 2021 as your biggest investment in yourself. When we talk about functional medicine helping identify the root cause of physical symptoms, there is often a big piece of the puzzle that is your mental health. How you feel physically is a combination of what you do physically and mentally to take care of yourself. The body responds to hope and something to look forward to.
Carpe Diem
With extra time at home and not having jam-packed schedules of places to go, we have an opportunity if we seize it. This gives each of us a chance to find our dream. How do you want to live your life? What do you want your daily life to look like? What needs to change? What do you need in order to get there?
For anyone who has struggled with a constant health issue, you know the isolation of a health journey or battle alone is all too familiar. For those who want to get pregnant, and can’t, it can feel like a secret pain and exceptionally lonely battle.
How can you find the motivation and energy to keep going?
We have to think bigger than just one step ahead. At the end of the day, it is important to remember who we are and how we want to live our lives; that everything we love, and who we are and want to be, is not on hold.
Think for a moment if fertility were not an issue or it was not an option—say you were ten years younger or older, what would you want? What would make you happy? Do you long for city trips to visit friends, adventure travel, finding an exotic beach destination, or sitting quietly at home knitting? A job change? A location change? A change in relationships—with friends, family, or a significant other?
Your recipe for success
Sometimes it is hard to think about what would make us happy when we have been so far away from that feeling for a long time. Then I ask, when were you happiest in life? Who was there? What was the experience? How did you feel? Why was it such a good time?
Take yourself back there. I have fond memories of college and grad school. Countless hours just hanging out with good friends, laughing, traveling, My recipe for good friends used to be: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encouraged people to let their guard down and confide in each other. The shared bond of school stress, the experiences together, and having unbounded curiosity in life without any real responsibility.
What is, or was, your recipe for success?
Getting there from here: a reconnected life
An article published in the New York Times a few years ago, Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? goes triple during the pandemic.
Maintaining close friendships can be harder to do the more obligated we are to other things: work, family, and a significant other. Yet, they are also crucially important. Loneliness can harm our health, mental health, and wellbeing. In the pandemic, loneliness is the darkness we are all experiencing.
So, how do we get out of this? How can we get reconnected and less isolated? How do we tap into a new year with a new vision? Looking forward, how do we find something better in our post-pandemic life? Our life interrupted has given us an opportunity—an opportunity to do something different, be something different, and to change our health trajectory as well. The simplified recipe I have compiled below takes some ideas from Julia Cameron’s 12-week course in her book The Artists Way. It is a book and approach I highly recommend for those trying to tap into a more creative, fulfilling life.
Here’s my simplified recipe for finding your way to a happy life:
Go back to times that made you happy. Write and describe everything. Remember, as precisely as possible, how it made you feel
Think of things that made you happy that you could get now. A favorite beach-scented candle, fresh new sheets, new heels or leather boots.
Imagine where you’d want to be if there were no rules post-pandemic. You could go anywhere and do anything. What would that look like? Dream. Every time the little thought appears “that is not possible, that wouldn’t happen,” then write down “this is not possible”, crumble it up, and throw it out.
Now dream as if there were no restrictions. What would your ideal life be? I suggest doing a collage/vision board or write the way you want your life to look. Glamour, restaurants, dancing, writing, surfing, beaches, mountains... Whatever it consists of, put it down.
Now list what is blocking you: your current job, your boss, expectations your family has of you, lack of confidence in your dream, your fertility struggles and need to focus on having a baby, biological clock and a timeline you had in mind, a longstanding health issue, a relationship with a friend or significant other.
Now in a line next to the list write the antidote: what will solve the problem. Old, ragged wardrobe antidote: closet clean-out and refresh. Pent-up creativity antidote: daily journaling.
Start with one thing on your list and do the antidote. Try one antidote a week as we get through winter.
Where do you want to be towards your ideal life, in one year, three years, and five years?
What can you do this month to work towards your new you, new life? What can you do this week? What can you do today? Write it out.
Do one thing a day that takes you closer to your vision board. Check-in with yourself weekly.
Many of my clients experience health issues that have delayed their lives, whether an unrelenting case of SIBO, migraines, weight management, fatigue, infertility, or something else. While we work on figuring out the biochemistry and health imbalances to get to the root cause of the symptoms; we are also working on mental health.
I find that many people respond to hope. Your mind needs a happier place to go to—for example, looking forward to something outside of your immediate health issues. It helps to look into the future and to actually take steps toward the life you want to live. Sometimes this can be the door to greater fulfillment—and also help your body heal.
May the new year bring you greater happiness!
Warmly,
Annina
Would you like to talk?
Schedule a free 15-minute call.
Annina is a PhD, Registered Dietitian, Licensed Dietitian Nutritionist and Board Certified in Functional Medicine specializing in nutrition and functional medicine for fertility, pregnancy and new mom and baby. She has 7 years of practice experience and has co-authored several books on infant, child nutrition and obesity prevention.